March is a tricky month for me, after the loss of my sweet husband, Jeramy. If you checked out the Frankie and Jess podcast, you heard us talk about that.

While I’ve been trying to share an original song each month, the song for March is for anyone who has gone through a loss. I’m sure you, like me, have sat underneath that great big sky and wondered… where are you? Are you near? Are you with me?

What. A. Treat!

I got to visit with two of my longtime friends on their brand new podcast and it filled me right up!

Brief radio history, a quick chat about my stint on Yellowstone, performing, and my intimate walk with grief. We covered it all. We laughed and almost cried – luckily I was able to hold it together.

We also talked about the book I’ve written. It’s not out quite yet, but it’s very close.

My sweetheart/love of my life died in 2018 from DVT – Deep Vein Thrombosis/blood clots that made their way to his lungs. It was a brutal turn of events – living proof that nothing lasts forever and we should be so, so grateful for every moment we’re given.

The book is about our love story, his death and what it’s like to live through the dark tunnel of life after a loss like that.

You can give it a listen here and we’d all love your support.

Thank you!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/youre-going-to-love-the-costco-guy-story-catching-up/id1723835486?i=1000648208447

I love the New Year. I hate January but I love the new year. I love roaming around during that week between Christmas and New Year’s (my favorite week of the year), when all bets are off, gluttony is king and adults can kind of pretend they’re a kid on Christmas break. The whole world slows down a bit – and we need it.

And somewhere in that haze, we’re allowed time to asses the year. How did we do? How did the world do? Was the year kind? Was it a beast? I love this moment to breathe and reflect.

As someone who journals regularly, I’m big on reflecting anyway. I just think it’s important to know why we do the things we do and we can’t know that if we never stop to ask ourselves the questions.

Naturally, New Year’s resolutions appeal to me. Not in a ‘flogging myself for not being good enough way,’ but in a ‘when I reflect at the end of the upcoming year, what would I like to have happened?’ What would a successful, fulfilling year look like next New Year’s Eve?

It’s about intention, having your own north star, knowing what you’re working toward. We do it at work every year. What are our goals? Typically even broken down by quarters Q1 – Q4. But we tend not to do that in our personal lives.

One of my goals for the year is to force myself to cook a bit more. I say it that way because it’s something I don’t think I’m good at and it occurred to me that maybe that’s because it’s something I never do. When I’m home alone, it seems like a lot of work for just me. And when Victoria is with me, we’ve often already eaten at my folks’ or we just microwave a bean burrito (I also give her a vegetable from time to time).

So, the goal: Prepare one dinner from scratch a month. Ideally, this would also include having a friend over as well.

I started early in December, cooking a lemon rice chicken soup for some friends.

January – I made chicken and dumplings! It was a practice, which is what I need. I just need to be able to go slowly with no audience and no pressure and keep reminding myself that I’m learning a new skill. I was by myself but I did it anyway. I put on some music, poured a little bit of wine and made a very tasty dinner (that I’ll likely repeat for a friend this weekend).

Now I get to cross it off my list for the month as something I’ve accomplished. So when NYE rolls around for 2024, I’ve got one meal in the bucket!

It’s miserable, isn’t it? To get up each morning and decide to create a gloriously awkward moment to participate in. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Well…. my sis and I always figure no one is going to knock on our door one day and say ‘hey what is your crazy dream or hobby? I’d love to support you!’

Since no one is going to do that, we’ve no choice but to get up and show up, day in and day out, putting our thoughts and creations out into the world.

I’ve been dabbling in songwriting for four or five years now, give or take. It’s the most mentally / emotionally taxing activity but fills my soul in a way that nothing else can – which must mean it’s something I should keep doing.

What good is a song that no one ever hears? Good question. I’m hereby challenging myself to try to just record myself from time to time and get these songs into the world if for no other reason, so my daughter can hear what they’re supposed to sound like when she’s going through my notebooks some day.

Love you all – thanks for listening!

It’s tradition. When I was a kid, cousin Lagoon day was the highlight of my summer – hands down.

In case you’re not from Utah, Lagoon is our local amusement park. It has a rich 100+ year history and is a staple in the community. Everyone goes to Lagoon. My mom will talk about going as a teenager to hear Battle of the Bands – which was exactly what it sounds like except the bands were bigger than you’re imagining – think The Beach Boys and The Rolling Stones.

We had one magical day there every summer. Grandma and Grandpa were there and the cousins. We got there right as the gates opened and always asked to stay “until the lights came on.” We packed in our own food in coolers, leaving them under a blanket on the picnic tables in the back of the park.

I grew up going to Lagoon. I’ll always think of my grandparents – sitting on the bench in front of what used to be the Fun House. I’ll always think of Grandma’s yellow cake with orange frosting and my Grandpa discussing the merits of the Colossus versus the old white roller coaster which “jerks you around.” He’s not wrong.

Fast forward many, many years… I’m now a mom and Lagoon still serves as the backdrop for a new group of cousins.

Cousin Lagoon Day is always a highlight and this year proved no different. The kids ran around together, all deciding to wear blue and creating their own jokes and traditions. We moms got to see the joy of the park wash over the youngest in the family – 2 1/2 and 1 years old – who both squealed with delight on every ride.

We packed our own lunch, leaving it under a blanket on the picnic tables in the back. We made Grandma’s yellow cake with orange frosting. We got a group photo of the kids and we also got a group photo of the moms – which my niece described as “just like all the other mom pictures.”

Again, it was pure joy.

Afterward, I wrote a letter to Lagoon thanking them for a great day, the many amenities they provide (like .25 water!), clean bathrooms and beautifully kept grounds. They thanked me for the nice feedback and ended their reply in the best way possible:

Long live cousin Lagoon Day!

Victoria and I just got back from an extraordinary trip to Peru!

I have to be honest – going to Peru, even Machu Picchu, wasn’t really on my immediate bucket list – I had Greece and Italy in mind. But V has been taking Spanish since Kindergarten and I’ve always told her, if she sticks with it, we’ll go somewhere after Jr. High and High School so she can practice her language skills.

When her Spanish teacher said she might be arranging a trip we were all in.

The trip was very planes, trains and automobiles – literally. Our group of about 15 had early wake-up calls (think 2:15a), red-eye flights, and everything in between. Not a relaxing vacation to be sure, but a rewarding one!

We did many incredible things and, thanks to our local guide, we were really able to learn more about the Peruvian culture.

But beautiful Machu Picchu was a truly extraordinary experience. After a week of non-stop group movement in Peru, I finally had a moment to sit down and collect my thoughts on the trip.

Machu Picchu – Breathtaking. Absolutely stunning. It truly lived up to its reputation.

We took a train into Aguas Caliente, a base camp, if you will. The train ride is about an hour and a half and a relaxing way to watch the landscape turn from the plains and agriculture to jungle as we entered the Amazon rain forest.

We stayed the night so we could get an early start the next morning. The shuttle busses pick you up at the side of the road and for the next 30 minutes, begin numerous switchbacks up the side of the mountain.

You arrive at Machu Picchu and there is vibe of excitement. It’s a place where people from all over the world visit. I enjoyed hearing the varied languages. We broke into two smaller groups and, with our tour guides, began the climb. Each step and turn offered greater vistas than the step before.

We were utterly blessed with the most spectacular day and weather. The stunning sunshine was definitely showing off, casting its lovely rays onto the ruins, a place build to honor the Sun God, the mountains – Pachamama or Mother Earth, among other things.

Machu Picchu was bigger than I imagined, spilling down the sides of the mountain in structured, meticulous fashion. I was equally struck by God’s glorious creation. The sharp peaks surrounding the ruins – it was absolutely exquisite. It was one extraordinary view after another – breathtaking in the truest sense. I walked among the ruins, touched the stones and wondered about those who touched them first, carving them, stacking them, piling them into such beautiful precision.

I love any experience or moment that makes me feel small, humbled. Machu Picchu did that in spades. I’ll always be grateful to have been given the opportunity to visit such an extraordinary place.

On a personal note, I feel so blessed that I was able to stand on the top of that mountain with my daughter, and that I was well enough to do it. Last year, I would have had to miss it. So grateful that we now have all these amazing photos in that brilliant sunshine, connecting to a mysterious history in a culture/world we’ve only begun to know.

This trip was a gift!

When the docs told me I’d be wrapping up treatment, I just wanted to celebrate with everyone and anyone who would come have a drink with me. I got the wild idea to just say ‘hey, I’ll be hanging out here from 6-10p please stop by so I can give you a big hug.’

It was a little bold – I mean what if no one came? I knew my sis would be there and I figured, worse case scenario, she and I would sit there having some wine and there’s nothing worse case about that. So what could it hurt?

I was beyond delighted by the turnout, the joy, the hugs, the love and support that came pouring into the bar.

Thank you dear sweet family and friends – I love you all!